When I came to the Philippines I had certain expectations and purposes which have totally changed. In light of this, I feel that the purpose of this blog has also changed. When I started out, the purpose of this blog was to communicate to everyone at home about the work I was doing in the Philippines. I wanted to talk about ministry and to show you all of the precious people here.
After having been here for four and a half months, I still want to share with you how precious these people are, but I want to talk more about the ministry of the birthing home rather than my personal ministry. I have yet to find my ministry, I am still learning who God has created me to be and how to do ministry without making things worse. Ministry is so much more complicated than I thought. Someone like me can't just come in to a community for five months and make lasting life changes happen in people. Life changing takes the development of relationships and the investment of one's own life. What's really amazing are the midwives and the work that they are doing. Day in and day out they are being role models and mentors to these women, through their habits, their personal lives, and their examples as moms. It's also amazing how the midwives have welcomed me in to be a part of it all! They are teaching me what true ministry is about! They are showing me with their lives how to be dedicated. I see them staying up all night during a birth and then waking up early the next morning and hand washing their family's clothes and cooking breakfast for their children! They are living with the women, working long and hard, just like the women, raising families, cooking fish, and hand washing lundry, just like the women. They are the real missionaries doing the real work here!!
Rather than coming to the Philippines with the purpose of changing, helping and teaching others, I am now open to being changed, helped, and taught! I realize now that I can't help these women in the ways that I thought I could. It was actually really foolish of me to ever imagine that I could. I can only be a small piece of life at the birthing home. I can only give them my time, my energy, and my attention and hope that they are blessed by it. I can only live my life (five months of it anyway) along side them, experiencing the heat, hand washing my clothes, and eating mangos and fish. What could possibly be more important to do here than to experience filipino life and to share my own life with these people!? These women in labor don't even need to be rescued! All she needs is to be in control, to be respected and empowered, to have her compassionate and skillful midwife by her side and to give birth to her precious baby. What she needs are loving compassionate people to live along side her, to build relationship with her and to support her, in her labor, in her birth and in her life. And that my friends, is the never ending, life-long, beautiful work that I am witnessing and benefitting from here! These women and midwives have taught me more about life, ministry, and midwifery than I could have learned anywhere else!
My purpose in this blog now is to to share with you the beauty of the Philippines! I want to show you how simple and refreshing life is here. I want to give you just a glimpse of the ministry these midwives daily work at! I wish I could really show you who each of these midwives are and how much they sacrifice for these women. The impact I'm making is nothing compared to the life-long influence these midwives have among these families and communities. Imagine the change they will have made over all of these years, and imagine the impact they will have for generations to come. These mothers never forget their birth experiences, or their midwife and all that she did for them during their labors. These midwives are unforgettable birth attendents in the way that they are compassionate and gentle while coaching a woman through one of her most difficult and beautiful experiences in life.
On to the blog: Even though I spend most of my time at the birthing home, I've been feeling really sad lately about how many births I've missed because I was either gone or sleeping!!! Tonight I asked Ate Bhel why I had missed so many births and she said, "You're very good at sleeping!" Somehow I feel that this is not the last time that this "skill" will be a little less than helpful! From missing an hour and forty five minutes of an exam (back in the states) to sleeping in when we were supposed to be leaving early for trips (here), I've had my share of frustration (not to mention those around me) with my sleeping abilities. I can tell that Deborah is really getting to know me well because whenever we are leaving for somewhere early she'll say, "I'll send one of the kids to wake you up if you don't show". Here are the stories of some recent births that I have actually been able to be at! :) The past few weeks since these three births, I've been able to attend most of the births which has been so wonderful and exhausting at the same time!
Jocelyn
What a beautiful birth! Jocelyn and her husband Angel, both 18 years old, came in at 8:45 am. She was only 4 centimeters and the baby was still fairly high up. Her water had not yet broken so she asked to go back home. When a women is this far along in her labor she won't usually go home. It was ok for Jocelyn though because she lived really close to the Paanakan, on the same street in fact, in an area called creek side. This area was greatly affected by the typhoon, ondoy which happened in october. Help International Ministries (the ministry that started and supports the birthing home and the baby home) has been working together with the men and families in that part of the neighborhood to build a secure wall to repair their neighborhood and to protect their homes and walkways from any future flooding. At 12:10 pm she came back, being 9 centimeters, the baby being lower and her water still intact. I was totally excited for this birth and really ready to jump in! I felt like I hadn't had a birth in a while (in the last birth I attended before this one, the midwives handled it because the mom had some complications). Jocelyn was so calm that I could hardly tell that she was in labor! she had been lying on her left side and then after a while Ate Lornie had her move to the birthing stool. She was very comfortable and was really letting go and letting her body take over which was awesome! A lot of women really struggle to feel comfortable enough to let go and to allow labor to take its course. I was really glad that she was able to, especially with being only 18. She handled labor really well and was very relaxed. She wasn't self-concious or holding herself back in any way. She labored very quietly. At 12:33 the baby had moved down and was almost to the crowning stage. Since her water hadn't broken yet, it was bulging out before the baby's head, so I broke it (just by pinching it). Once the water was broken, the head was crowing, and we could see that this baby had a lot of hair! While Jocelyn was sitting on the stool and pushing, her husband sad behind her. She liked to hang onto his neck while she pushed, which seemed to really help her. Jocelyn took her sweet time pushing which was great! She controlled the pushing really well, which is extremely hard to do. She was great at pushing; she totally listened to her body and allowed herself to rest at all the right points. Going slowly was just perfect, in fact it's the reason she didn't tear at all! She delivered the head beautifully and very slowly. Lornie coached her through pushing expertly! The baby's head rotated and with barely a small pull from me, the rest of the baby slid out! It was such a gentle, beautiful, calm, and quiet birth! I felt so full of joy and peace afterwards. The baby was screaming immediately and both parents looked so happy! Jocelyn looked up at her husband with a satisfied, joyful look and said, "Babae!" ("it's a girl!"). She reached out and picked up the baby as I handed her to her. The baby was out at 12:42, I clamped the cord while Ate Lornie cut it. I felt like we had worked really well together! Lornie was so amazing during this birth! What an excellent coach! I then took the baby and cleaned her up. By the time I was done the placenta still was not out. Lornie had the mom lie down on the bed and said that sometimes this helps the placenta to come (something I never knew). After she had Jocelyn move, the placenta came out quite easily. I've been doing 15 minute and now 30 minute checks on the mom and the baby. She's been having some trouble breast feeding so that's mainly what I've been working on with her. This birth was so beautiful! Jocelyn's two sisters who also happen to have baby girls came to visit. They're all so beautiful, petite and young. Their long dark hair is so gorgeous and they are such sweet moms! The next morning I got to do the baby bath and examination. This baby girl is so beautiful and sweet! While I was doing her baby bath, I actually missed another birth!!!
Jocelyn and her sisters
Jocelyn's little nieces
Going home
Erlinda
Erlinda came in to the birthing home at 9:35 pm. I had just finished showering and playing soccer with the gustafsons and our friends from the neighborhood. She was 9 centimeters, the baby was about half way descended. and the water had not yet broken. She was 35 years old and this was her 6th baby!!! This was such a great birth and we (Ate Grace and I) had really precious interactions with Erlinda throughout it! Ate Grace was great; she was so compassionate and attentive. I felt like we sat with her for a very long time and I was really tired but it was only 2 hours. Grace was very present and active in assisting Erlinda in her labor. Grace was so sweet, I wish I could have painted a picture of them sitting together or adequately describe the bond between them though they hardly knew one another. Grace being patient and kind, the mother, working hard and being very sweet and cooperative about the painful work she was doing. Something about the way Grace cared for Erlinda, spent time with her, and worked with her to speed up her labor said, "I'm here for you, I'm in your corner, and I am rooting for you to succeed! I know you can do it!" Grace is so encouraging and trustworthy. She spent quite a while tucking the cervix back over the baby's head. The mom was first on hands and knees, then on the bed, lying flat for Ate Grace to tuck the cervix, then hands and knees again, which was the position she was in when the baby's head crowned. We had her move from that position to the birthing stool to deliver the rest of the baby, so she kind of panicked a little bit, but Grace helped her calm down really well. Grace was in the middle of putting her gloves on when the head crowned! Thanks to her wisdom she had already told me to put mine on and had me come and support Erlinda and the baby's head as she moved to the birthing stool. I sat cross legged at her feet, so close to her, and to her baby. I felt so at home and comfortable, right there with her in the thick of it. I had guessed that she would have the baby at 11:35 and the baby was out at 11:33! Erlinda has two older boys and three younger girls and was sure that this baby was a boy but didn't know (she didn't have an ultra sound because she didn't need one). More than once, during prenatals when I've struggled to find the heart beat and have looked just about everywhere, the mom will point to one particular spot on her belly and say, try it here. I kid you not, every time, there is the heartbeat, loud and clear, and exactly where she told me to look! Moms just really know their bodies, and their babies. This case was no exception! Erlinda had a beautiful healthy boy! While Grace had been sitting with Erlinda during her labor they discovered that they were both the same age! Grace said, "Wow! We're the same age and already she has six children!" (Grace has two). At 10:39 Erlinda was 9+ centimeters, at 10:54 she was almost 10 centimeters. At 11:00 Grace broke her water. Erlinda had a lot of water and it was lightly stained but the baby had no problems. Her labor had only started at 6 pm that same night and at 11:33 the baby entered this would and into my hands! How blessed am I that this is what I get to do everyday!?!? There was cord coil (the cord wrapped around some portion of the baby's body) around the neck, which I discovered once the head had been delivered and before the body was out. It was around the neck tightly enough so that I couldn't unloop it and I just allowed the baby to be birthed first. The baby's body came out easily, he was a little limp for the first second or two, but Grace and I started simulating him to breath and I unlooped the cord from around his neck. He soon began screaming and pinking up and we placed him on his mom's tummy. Grace cut the cord and cleaned the baby up while I waited for the placenta, placing only a little bit of traction on the cord. After a few minutes the placenta came out quite quickly. Ate Grace and I cleaned everything up and got the mom comfortable on the bed with her baby. Grace helped her start breast feeding while I cleaned up the tools. The baby is totally adorable!! He's a healthy six pounds with chubby cheeks and huge eyes. Whenever I came in the birth room to do post partum checks (to help with breast feeding and to make sure that Erlinda wasn't bleeding very much) he was just staring at me from around his blanket. I love this, it's so awesome! What a sweet, beautiful calm, loving birth. I was just blessed to be a part of it, to see the beautiful interaction between Grace and Erlinda and to be welcomed into such a sacred event.
Marylou
Marylou gave birth to her third baby at the birthing home! It was one of the most wonderful and exciting births ever! She came in at 10:25 am, being 2 centimeters open and the baby being half way in descending. Her water had not yet broken. I went in and checked the baby's heartbeat every hour. She liked lying down so I advised her to stay on her left side (in this position the baby can get the most blood flow and oxygen from the mom). At this time she was laboring in the prenatal room, even though we had all of the birthing things set up in the second birth room. She might have enjoyed being in there because it was a little bit cooler. At 12:40 she ate lunch outside with her family. At 1:03 she was lying on her left side and I brought her more water and encouraged her to drink more. During labor, staying hydrated is really important and hard to do, especially in the middle of hot season here! I also noticed around this time that her contractions were getting a lot stronger. At 2:08 Ate Bhel (pronounced Belle) checked her again and found that she was 6-7 centimeters open but the baby was still at the same place as far as his/her descent and her water was still intact. Marylou handled labor really well; she was staying calm and was concentrating on her contractions beautifully. At 3:03 I was sitting in the common area of the birthing home and reading one of my midwifery books (and half falling asleep) when I heard the mom yell and saw Bhel run across the room towards the prenatal room. I ran after her to find Bhel on the bed with gloves on saying that Marylou's water had broken. Two minutes later Bhel was holding the baby's head in her hands and said, oh sorry the head is already here! (because she was going to let me catch the baby). I scrambled to the other room to grab my gloves. I came back to the bed and knelt on it, holding the baby's head in my hands. The amniotic fluid (water) was slightly stained, which can sometimes be a sign of distress. After pulling just a little bit, first up and then down, the baby gently slid out. She had a short cord so when I put her on the mom's abdomen I had to place her lower than ususal. Marylou and I exchanged happy smiles, and she reached down to hold onto her baby. Bhel clamped and cut the cord and I placed the baby on blankets where the father sat with her. Bhel and I caught the placenta together. It was sort of a chaotic birth simply because all of our supplies were set up in the wrong room! The bed the mother was on didn't even have the right kind of sheets on it! The placenta took some time in coming out but everything was fine. The baby was lying on the bed next to Marylou while we were waiting for the placenta to come out. The first moments between a mother and baby are so special. Every touch and look is so new and precious. It was incredible to watch Marylou and her baby gazing up/down at each other and to see Marylou reaching out and touching her little girl for one of the first times! She didn't want to be away from the baby for a moment and she kept her eyes on her all of time. Finally we got everything cleaned up. The baby nursed really well right away, she had great sucking and Marylou had very minimal blood loss afterwards. What a satisfying, wonderful birth! I was so thankful that I got to witness this precious birth and then still had time to play soccer that afternoon with the neighborhood kids! How perfect!
Marylou's oldest child, a little girl who was about five, very calmly had watched the whole birth and was so excited to have a new little sister! After soccer, I came back to find Marylou sitting in the prenatal room eating with her husband, her baby, her kids, and some older aunts uncles and grandparents. I was coming up and down the stairs (near their room) quite a few times as I was getting ready for bed and Marylou's two older children were running about and whispering to each other. Ehen I was coming up the stairs one last time the little boy was waiting at the top and handed me a yellow, larger than life, orange as a thank you for being at the birth! It was beautiful! It is the biggest most yellow orange I have ever seen and it smells delicious!I ate it this morning with milo and a piece of cinnamon sugar toast! This is possibly the best gift I've ever received! It's so sweet and simple, I can't quite describe why I feel that it is so special. It reminded me of the movie, Little Women, when the guy she likes is playing on the floor with the two little girls who get oranges from his pockets. Then he hands one to Jo and she talks about how comforting his friendship is while being lonely and so far away form her home. Then she peels the orange and eats it in her funny hat. Those of you who have seen the movie, hopefully know what I'm talking about, those of you who have not should just ignore this paragraph! The point is that I felt blessed by the simplicity and sweetness of the gift. And that it represented a friendship and kindness that is comforting while being so far away from home.
Taking a nap in the living room
